How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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