and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
