I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
