also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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