The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
