I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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