While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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