She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
