I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
