there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
