when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
