I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
