I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
