No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
