Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
