I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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