You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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