even my farts smell like vagina
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
