Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
