thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Life is so much better after having sex.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
