my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
