i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
she smelled like a LAN party
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
