dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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