my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Randomize
