People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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