: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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