I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
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