I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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