nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It's blow job season.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
