You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
