So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
