Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
