You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my being single is dangerous.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
