i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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