Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
