Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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