PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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