this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I need moral support for this bender
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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