whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
