He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
