the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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