my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
either way he was missing a nipple.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
