like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
