you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
