I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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