I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
