All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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