you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
