we have officially lost it.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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