it's too hot outside to masturbate.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
