it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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